Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
