You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
