i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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