i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
