But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
