Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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