their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
