whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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