went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
