I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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