Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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