I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
