YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
