i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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