maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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