OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
