guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
