True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
