Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
