Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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