Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
