Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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