Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
