like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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