so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
