Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
