How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
