Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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