We're like a lot better than the average bears
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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