don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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