Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize