wakey wakey hands off snakey
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
