just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
