um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
