I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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