thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
