just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
