saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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