Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
