Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
