Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
