Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
