This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think my moral compass just broke
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