There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's rum buckets o'clock
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
