Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
