dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
