whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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