somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
