There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
