Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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