She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
